Tips For Your First Post-Divorce Holiday Season

  1. Be Flexible and Realistic

With shared custody where the kids can celebrate a holiday twice, you may need to host a celebration not on the actual holiday date. In this case, be flexible and understanding that you still get to celebrate, just maybe a bit before or after – even an entire week different. Just because the official day on the calendar means Christmas, doesn’t mean you can’t still get in the holiday cheer and do a celebration of your own.

  1. Be Giving!

Giving and gifts are of course paramount to the holiday season, but homemade gifts or quality time given can be even more worthwhile and loved than any store-bought gift. You may also want to go through old kids’ toys or clothes, or things of your own, to do a holiday donation to help those less fortunate. Maybe even volunteer at a soup kitchen or local charity.

  1. Allow Yourself to Relax, Be Healthy, & ENJOY 

Self-care is the most important thing! Patience and an open attitude to the new season with all of its changes after being divorced/separated will bring new challenges, and most beneficial for you is bringing patience and understanding… with you first and foremost. It’s a new navigation and you might get lost the first year. It might be chaotic or confusing. But be proactive about your own health – mentally and physically, and know that it’s Okay to be a little lost or overwhelmed. There is still much to be grateful for.

  1. Speak With (and Be With) Family and Friends

Sometimes we forget that others have had tragedy or are single, or not able to be with their loved ones this season. Reach out! It might make their holiday way more cheerful.  Maybe you could even invite them over for your own festivities or spend some quality time together.

  1. No Need for Guilt

Don’t worry that your kids aren’t “with the whole family” at once this year. They will spend time with both, and enjoy the time spent with you. Plus, they might get double the celebrations. Don’t get yourself down, too, if your celebrations are gaudy or as exciting as they used to be! You’re carving out a new path and new tradition…

  1. Try a New Tradition

Things have changed post-divorce, and so will the traditions. It could be a GREAT time to start a new one and begin something exciting that the kids will remember. From a new sledding spot to playing a game, a “white elephant” fun gift exchange or movie-watching marathon, make this holiday one to remember. You can also alter an old tradition and change it up a little with some new inspiration! Instead of a gingerbread house, maybe a gingerbread MONSTER or marshmallow igloo.

  1. Cooperate For The Kids

After a divorce with kids, both have a shared goal, and that is to provide a loving and warm home and holiday experience for the kids. So long as that’s the focus, you’re going to give them a nice experience not full of regret but full of love and joy being together.

  1. Don’t Be Alone!

It might be the “easy” thing to do, but make a point to spend quality time not just with family members but friends. You need the support, and quality time is something money can’t buy and time alone won’t ever replace. Sure you might need some time to convene with yourself and meditate on your identity, new goals, the feeling of calm… but too much can turn to depression and loneliness. No one wants that!

  1. Gratefulness

Remain positive for what you DO have. You don’t have to suffer through wasted time with your ex, and spend time with the in-laws anymore… you have more time for you, and if you have kids you can focus on how to make their holiday season great. Time to focus on your needs can help change habits or lifestyle choices and how to act on them.

  1. Do More of What You Love About the Holidays!

If you love the Christmas lights in your neighborhood, go walk or drive around! Shopping? Decorating? Do it! Put cheer in your life by getting out there are taking charge into what you love. Do more of that! If your kids are around, take them to share that joy, and make new memories. It doesn’t have to cost a dime.

 

Here at Hinds and Hinds Family Law, P.C. we try our best to bring you the support you might need especially during the holidays! It’s a tough time for those going through divorce and we strive to provide service and support how we can. Call our office (303) 224-9000 if there is anything we can do for you. This article was written by one of our staff with ideas from 20 Tips shared on DivorceMag.com.

divorce tips post divorce