Taking your first steps after divorce
This article by Debbie Nigro on Brides.com goes through 12 ways to move on after a divorce. From allowing yourself to feel (even when it’s painful), to seeing this new phase of your life optimistically and making your newly found extra free time truly count — you are entering new terrain that is unfamiliar as you move away from a serious commitment. You thought that person would be there with you til the end! We know there are many reasons why this may not have worked out, but it’s important to keep the big picture in mind, that this is all for the best. But you have to make your first moves purposeful!
Two points outlined in this list: Forgive Yourself, and Take Care of Number One (you), remind us that you are priority #1 — and realizing that any faults or regrets from the process of divorce or the marriage itself are best learned from and left in the past. The blame game isn’t the way to heal. Plus, beating yourself up for something you can’t change now is not going to help you move on and be your best self. Be gentle and prioritize your own well-being.
There are some other details relating to the divorce that are to be expected. If there are kids involved, being gentle and keeping them out of the dramatic details that can harm them emotionally is super important. Still maintaining direct communication and a strong listening ear with a child will help them through this time, but it’s a balance of how many details to share and working through the balancing act of split parenting time.
Making sure to maintain a healthy new routine and/or focus in your life that brings in your passions is also paramount in this new phase. What is it you didn’t have time for before during your marriage that you can now pour yourself into? Or, maybe, you have strived to get in better shape and get into a better fitness routine. Not to mention that this is just good for you and your mental, physical, and emotional state overall so it would be quite a worthy revisited commitment!
Lastly, prioritizing your relationships is critical at this time. You need support! If you need someone to come over or meet you for coffee because you are feeling isolated, then you should reach out and make that happen! If your friends or family can’t be there for all the details or you still have much healing to do and work things through, then this may include hiring a therapist or joining a support group. You need support and others are there are around, you just have to reach out and make it happen — to best support yourself.
We are here for you, too, and can recommend groups or therapists we’ve worked with in your time post-divorce. You can always give us a call at (303) 224-9000 and ask one of our attorneys or paralegals how we can better serve you and give you the support you need.