Have Clear Boundaries
When you establish boundaries, you know what you can and cannot control when it comes to parenting styles or what the other parent is doing.
- Having a Predetermined Schedule
Unless there is a written/communicated change in routine, it is best to stick with expectations. This transition is way more manageable when the other knows what to expect or changes weekly.
- Be Flexible!
While a predetermined schedule is important, there are still things that arise (sickness, work schedules, emergencies) that require you or the other to be flexible. Putting our best foot forward even if that isn’t returned on the other side helps make things run more smoothly.
- Collaborate
Maybe instead of calling a babysitter, you can call the other parent (if you are in close range). If something does come up, working with them to move something around or ask for a change in schedule is easier when you are willing to collaborate.
- Have it in Writing! (CoParenting Plan)
Since it can be hard to agree on everything, having expectations set in writing is the best place to start. We can help guide newly separated parents through this process. When it comes to important parenting decisions like medical, discipline, education, and spiritual/religious issues, this is where a written agreement beforehand comes in.
- Do It For the Children
Remember that this transition is difficult for your child or children. While you don’t have to agree with your coparent on everything, minimizing tension and working as seamlessly as possible will reduce stress on the child, and that’s what it’s best for them. Do it for them!
- Attend Events in Support of the Child
To the last point, being there in person at events is so critical for a healthy childhood! If this means that you will be at the same even as your coparent, then hopefully the two of you can both put aside any differences and attend for the sake of the child.
Both coparents should value the health and wellbeing of the child, and despite many obstacles, working through things for the childs’ sake will go a long way in their happiness and future.
For assistance with coparenting plans or to alter any preexistinc agreements during your separation, please contact us or call us at (303) 224-9000 and we would be happy to help you.